my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
