living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.