is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
