Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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