It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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