Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
