I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize