I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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