I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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