The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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