I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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