did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
home. puking in laundry basket.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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