last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
