i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
tell me about the eggs
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