the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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