dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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