I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
