Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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