he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
