we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How's work?
Spinning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
