we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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