Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
