Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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