So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
