I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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