What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
