Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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