They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
