Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this just has baby written all over it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
