For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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