How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
