I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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