Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
