BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize