p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If its not for food we ain't going out.