Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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