I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.