I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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