he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
