listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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