On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You were trust falling into bushes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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