If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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