yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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