i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize