Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
