Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
