hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
