the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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