You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
