what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
