Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
