Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My pussy is not your playground.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
