I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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