i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Houston, we have a squirter
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
