he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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