would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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