apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize