My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
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I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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