what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
