It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I pour the whiskey from now on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
