nut hugger
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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