and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
