You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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